How to Reassure Your Kids That it's Safe to Go Out

As New York slowly opens up, many parents are wondering how their child will react to reentering it. Most kids will have some natural hesitations—about parents going back to work, about the safety of playdates, about returning to camp or school. To make matters more complicated, the world they know will be changed. Since it’s our job as parents to help them through any anxiety they may be feeling, we spoke to experts about how best to reassure kids as they get back into the new normal. 

If They’re Worried about Getting Sick

Your kids may have overheard more about COVID-19 than you realize—from conversations with other adults, social media, or the news. So it is important to understand what your kids are thinking and feeling about the virus and its risks. The best way to do this is to talk to them about it—find out what they know and be honest with them about what’s truth and rumor. 

Amy Altenhaus, P.h.D., a psychologist in private practice in the New York area, says parents need to remain calm during these conversations, because kids will be looking for cues. “You need to listen to what they are actually asking you and respond in a calm manner,” she says. Also kids from different age ranges will have different responses to fear. “A very young child may worry that everyone who gets COVID-19 will die. They may worry that their parents or teachers will die,” she says. Jenna Velez, a social worker and the vice president of External Affairs at the Mental Health Association of Westchester, says “preoccupation or worry about a caregiver getting sick could manifest in difficulty concentrating, headaches/stomachaches, irritability and/or trouble sleeping.” Dr. Altenhaus urges parents to reassure both kids and teenagers that there is a very small percentage of kids who become infected with COVID-19.

Teenagers might also need to hear logic and statistics—they might need to understand how the chances of getting infected are low for people who take precautions. “Older children may benefit from studying how we have survived other pandemics. You can point them to information from reliable sources like the CDC, Mayo Clinic and Johns Hopkins, on how to protect yourself and follow established guidelines for getting back to established activities,” Dr. Altenhaus suggests. 

Jessica Dym Bartlett, developmental scientist and co-director of Early Childhood Research at the nonprofit research organization Child Trends who recently published a paper about how to support children’s emotional well-being during this time, urges parents to emphasize the positive. “All the way through the age spectrum, kids need to hear, in some form, ‘you're going to be okay, it's going to be okay, and the grownups in this world are working really hard to make sure of it.’” 

“You can check in with your child a day or two later after a discussion to see if they have any questions,” Dr. Altenaus adds. “Do a lot of listening. Encourage them to come to you. If you do not have the answer, tell them you will help them find the answer.”